Worst Ten Excuses for Being Apprehended in an Off-Limits Collecting Spot:

10. "I thought the 'No Trespassing' signs pertained to climbing trees signs were nailed to."

9. Claim foreign diplomatic immunity.

8. "No Tresspassing " signs not written in Braille.

7. I was chased in by Bigfoot.

6. "I have permission from God."

5. "Let's see YOUR writen permission to be here."

4. My invisible spaceship ran out of gas.

3. I was responding to cries of "Help - I've fallen in a pocket of smoky quartz, and can't get up!"

2. "I'm under arrest??!! YOU"RE under arrest!!! This quarry is under arrest!!!"

1. "No sweat! Community service has always been a breeze."

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